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Posted on February 23, 2018
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February 2018 Update

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Greetings from chilly Grand Rapids, MI…

As we haven’t sent out an update since November, many of you may not be aware that the holidays were rather difficult for the Bucks.

On the morning after Thanksgiving, Josh was very hard to rouse and was rushed to the ICU. The diagnosis was a kidney infection that had gone septic. After a week of IV antibiotics, he bounced back quite quickly (per usual). Unfortunately, on Christmas day he was taken back to the ER with similar symptoms. He was discharged again, but after a week taken back to the ICU for a week with very high CO2 (84%) levels because of an inadequate CPAP machine. During these episodes, his heart rate is dangerously high and his blood pressure plummets. These experiences are rather hard on his body but even more so on our family.  When he returned home after this last hospital stay, we sat around the house for about a week in total shell shock. There was a sense of darkness and defeat. But with each health crisis there is something to learn. We are learning about cross-contamination, and Trilogy ventilators and safely expelling CO2.  Most importantly though, we are continuing to learn what it means to look to Jesus for peace and comfort during our darkest moments.   

With this level of health crises, our ministry is forced to the back burner.  December and the first part of January we were unable to travel or complete our six week coaching curriculum with couples. Also, we could not do any sort of fundraising dinner or end of the year challenge.  In light of this, our ministry has some immediate financial needs.  

Currently, as an organization we have 18 amazing monthly givers. These gifts (all from individuals) range from $10 to $500 a month. When we receive notice of these gifts, it is a bright spot in our day, and not just because it’s money! We always feel like we are part of a team. Each time these gifts arrive, we take a moment to lift the giver and their family up in prayer. But back to the ask…

As we begin this calendar year, would you consider investing in us monthly? It could be as little as $10, or as much as $500 (or even more)! We know that when you send an investment in a ministry, you are thinking and probably praying for that ministry. You are part of the team. We need prayer partners, investors, and teammates who are invested in the ministry of coming alongside families in crisis.   


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Josh and Shelly Buck


“ …who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  -2 Corinthians 1:4”
Posted on December 8, 2017
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November 2017 Update

November Update


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Dear JSBFM team,

Happy Thanksgiving! We hope this update finds you well and ready to head into the crazy holiday season! Here at JSBFM, we know it’s important that you as our supporters have a clear understanding of what our ministry accomplishes throughout the year. This past month has been one of tremendous growth and blessing.

We had the privilege of sharing with two different churches. Each time we speak to a new church, we speak a similar sermon. We know that God has given us a very unique story and that to be good stewards we MUST share aspects of it with those we are ministering to. Every church is different though, and there are different targets we are trying to hit for each one. So regardless of the church, there are about 10 hours of prep for me and seven for Shelly. For each NEW sermon that we preach, there can be up to 20 or even 30 hours of prep time!

A new experience for us this month was our opportunity to travel and speak in Chicago at the national AMRPA convention for rehab hospital CEO’s and administrators. As the keynote speakers for this 3-day conference, we shared about what it looks like for these organizations to serve their patients from a place of humility and compassion.

One of our most important goals as a ministry is to come alongside families in crisis. This month we as a ministry were blessed with a large financial donation to be used to help a family in the area who is struggling with a significant medical crisis. Your donations help families such as this.

Another substantial part of what we do as a ministry is coaching. This month we have been working with three different couples. Before we start coaching, we have already spent extensive time on the phone with a pastor or with the couple. Once we have some clear objectives and full permission from the couple, we start a six-week intensive accountability/coaching curriculum. Each week has specific guidelines and goals. Some of the resources we use in our coaching are Richard Foster’s “Celebration of Discipline” and Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages.” The prep time spent for each week and the phone time spent with each couple makes each six- week session well over 60 hours.

Coaching is often some of our most rewarding work at JSBFM as it allows us to live out the principle found in 1 Corinthians 1:3-11, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

Grace & Peace,

Josh and Shelly
www.joshandshellybuck.org

We know this is an important giving time to many of you. Josh and Shelly Buck Family Ministries Is a family run 501©(3). We rely on you for our budget and income. If you are interested in supporting us in any way…Please click here

Posted on January 19, 2017
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QT

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I have been a quadriplegic for 10 years today

 Writing those words 10 years could go would have seemed like a death sentence. Not so much so today…

If you want to hear more of our story you can go back on our website and read blogs or go to the “Our Story” section of our website.

Right now I want to give you the five stages of being a quadriplegi has been like…

Jan 18 2007 - January 29,  2009

Just try to be happy

In this first phase of loss, I would’ve done anything to forget what I had lost. I was never truly happy and I was never truly happy with my body. I remember seeing a video while in rehab at Mary Free Bed. It was a famous athlete or entertainer who had become paralyzed. After a few years, They said that they would not go back to being their “fully functioning self” if it meant losing all that they had become.“

I thought "what a load of B.S. They are just trying to make themselves feel better.”

Jan 29, 2009

I love my life

While driving around the lobby at at vanAndel arena Chris Tomlin concert I noticed how people were looking at me. It was very much in the way that I would’ve looked at a quadriplegic four years earlier. Thoughts like…

Poor guy. I bet he hates his life. I wonder what happened to him. I wonder if he has any one who loves him. I bet he smells. What are all the wires to his wheelchair? Is he on life-support?

There is nothing wrong with having these questions. I would’ve thought the exact same way. But I love my family. And I love my (gasp) life! I loved my life. And I would have rather been me than anybody else in that arena. Or of the world.

Spring 2011

God’s love

As I was growing more into the man God wanted me to be, I kept having this feeling… I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I was feeling more like the guy I was supposed to be all along. One of my main areas of struggle had been (still Is) humility. I really didn’t know that until after the accident. I was a people person. I love people and I wanted other people to think that I loved them. I would never want someone to walk away from a conversation with me thinking that I thought I was better. The problem was… I thought my opinions, ways I would do things, Preferences etc. were probably better than most people. God had put a massive stop to this very quickly. And now realizing that I could be the me and not have a massive pride stopgap from his spirit… I was enjoying his presence like never before.

And then I realized where I knew this idea from before, that dumb Mary Free Bed video… If the price I had to pay to have a fully functioning body was to lose everything I had learned since my accident, I wouldn’t do it. Yes! Thank you God!! But it gets even better.

Spring 2013 - Jan 18, 2017

Thank God for the wheelchair? 

I had been living in the joy and reality  of that last phase for around two years when a couple of words started bothering me about that phrase. “If the price I had to pay to have a fully functioning body again…” Did I want a fully functioning body again? What is a “fully functioning” body?

It was then that I realized that even if I could go back and keep everything that I’ve learned since the accident and still be able to walk… I didn’t know if I could do it. My fear is that I would go back to being the same guy. It was then that I realized that if God needed me to be in a wheelchair then I could thank God for the wheelchair. It didn’t need to look like a death sentence every day I had to get up and get in it. I could thank God for the wheelchair.

January 18, 2017 - ?

Here enters my problem. 2016 was not a good year for my family. Shelly has had terrible terrible migraines for a lot of the year. And for no real reason why… I have been a septic four times  Yes… Four times. I was never a septic in my first eight years of quadriplegia. I don’t know what has changed. The doctors don’t know what has changed. It’s all of a sudden is as if don’t have an immune system. In the last 14 months I have been in the hospital for 8 weeks. 

The incredible thing is that when I get home, I will probably feel great. But that doesn’t mean there’s not something going on still.  I pray that this time more than any time ever returning from the hospital I can speak hope and life to everyone around me even though that’s not going to be the way that I’m feeling. Who knows what I will call this phase. 




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Posted on February 1, 2016
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Nine years ago… he broke his neck

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Nine years ago on January 18, my husband dove into a wave in the Gulf of Mexico and was rescued from the water a quadriplegic. Having lost our precious daughter in an accident only 17 months earlier, I could not comprehend how we were going to have the strength to endure another life-altering event in our lives.

We put our present grief aside and became immersed in what a life of quadriplegia was going to entail. We spent the following four months living in hospitals, learning absurd amounts of medical information. We spent little to no time invested in loving each other how the other needed. We were both incredibly tied up in our own hurt, pain and even selfishness. 

It changed both of us for the worse. Ava’s death had seemed to drive us closer together and closer to God. But this? Neither of us had a clue how to love each other through yet another emotionally monumental experience.

I could not comprehend how a loving God thought we could weather another storm. I could not see how this was love from God. I continued to go back to the Old Testament, reading in Job about a man who endured far more heartache than I could ever imagine, and in his sorrow did not sin.

This did not mean Job wasn’t angry. I was pissed. 

This did not mean that Job did not feel like his heart was physically breaking and the struggle to take another breath near impossible.  I felt the same.


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It made me feel that Job was human, not superhuman. Yet he endured his loss and maintained his integrity.

This is where I did not know where to turn.

In a marriage covenant, two people pledge their lives to each other. They become one in the eyes of God. I was one with my husband, despite all our loss, despite not knowing how to love him in the middle of our mess. 

So I watched as his integrity slipped. I prayed. I pleaded with God. I thought Josh turned from Him because of anger at a God who would allow us to go through such tragedy. I thought Josh was confused about who he was now that so many of his abilities had been taken from him. With all the grief, heartache and deep pain that was part of a life that we did not choose, Satan began to slowly creep in. We didn’t welcome him; we know better than that. But neither did we send him away. Rather than maintaining our integrity, as Job did, we began to live a lie.

We were one. So I covered up for Josh. Rather than reaching out and finding the help we needed, we lived a life that was completely different once the front door closed and our lives were no longer under a microscope.

So many people saw God in our story, a story where we had nowhere else to turn but God. We were stuck in a place we could not find our way out of. People placed us on a pedestal, one where God was glorified, but we knew our personal lives did not. I knew my own spiritual life could not fix Josh. But I believed that God could heal his heart. I just questioned if God was going to do it. 

How could we admit to sin and find help for ourselves when people called us the modern-day Job?

Ha.

We were bogus.

And if we hadn’t been found out, where repentance was the only way to free ourselves from the bondage of sin, we would probably be living the same life today.

But God knew our weakness. He knew we needed HIM. 

And sin came to light. Did it ever. 

Now this man whom I had married, that I had promised to stay with come sickness or health, I was no longer expected to stay with. Biblically, I had a right to leave him, to rebuild my life without him. But I chose to stay with Josh because the Holy Spirit screamed it into my heart: Stay. Not because you have to, not because you want to right now, but because that is what I am asking you to do. Trust me.


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So I stayed. And I watched this man, with his broken body and broken heart, turn back to the Lord. I swear I could hear the angels rejoicing that a lost one had come home.  I watched as Josh began making phone calls to apologize for the life he had been leading. I recall a conversation where he told me that Jim Samra (the senior pastor at Calvary Church, aka the church that headed up the building of our house) was coming over to visit him. (I’m still thankful that I wasn’t there for that convo…). I watched my husband set up lunches and dinners so that he could be forthright and honest about what had happened. I watched my husband figure out what it meant to be the husband. I watched him pore over scripture. I watched as he wheeled his chair into his little prayer sanctuary. All these actions proved to me the reality of the changes he was trying to make. He began to do all these things—not because I asked or made them a condition of my decision to stay—but because the Holy Spirit was working in his heart. He could not fake this depth of his passion for God.  

This man, the one so many saw as too much “work” because of the paralysis, the heart-breaker, was slowly becoming my husband again. God worked a miracle of forgiveness in both of our hearts. He gave us new eyes to see each other. He reignited passion, enabling us to trust each other as we entered back into intimacy. He gave us incredibly forgiving families and friends. He surrounded us with a new community where we were no longer living a lie, but were encouraged to be open about our own sinful, fallen selves, because that is what each and every one of us are. 

Sinners. 

With a God who loves us so much He will do whatever it takes to get us back to a heart of repentance, a life of truth and forgiveness, a life, after so much destruction and pain, turned into praise. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. We continue to work on our marriage on a daily basis. We dig into the Bible and remember where it was we went terribly wrong. And we still screw it up, but we are assured because our feet are standing on a firm foundation with Christ at the center. Both Josh and I feel with strong conviction and faith that this is what it took for us to be able to eventually help others in distress and become spiritual mentors to those in crisis situations. 

He prepared us for this ministry in ways I would never have chosen, but for the good of others around us. God’s prep course was the hardest class I hopefully will ever have to take.

So, watching my husband figure out what it meant to be a biblical husband, seeing him pore over scripture and books for parents raising a children with disabilities was much more convincing to the changes he was trying to make. He began to take on responsibility even when it wasn’t asked. Our children will grow to be healthier adults because of it.

So this ministry, run by a husband and wife team, is leaning on Him, knowing he will bring the people that need what we have to offer. 

I sit here and shake my head at how far we have come.

But God…

Posted on November 20, 2015
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So I almost died…

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I’m not one given to overstatement… So I debated the title of this post. But…alas… it’s not an overstatement.

I’ve always thought a CPAP machine just kept you from snoring. I thought this is how it gave you a good night sleep. I was wrong. It keeps you oxygenated. And what happened on the night of 8 November was this, my CPAP machine nearly choked me to death.

Around 2:00 AM I woke up. I couldn’t catch my breath. I ripped the CPAP mask off my face and focused on steady breaths. I tilted my bed up and tried to keep from panicking. I didn’t know at the time, but my pulse was around 177

Zoe was sleeping on Shelly’s side of the bed because she missed her mama. Shelly was in California. I told Zoe, “you’re not going to like this babe, but I have to call the ambulance. ”

My mother-in-law, Jean was there as well. She called 911 and it took 15 minutes for the ambulance arrive! The entire time, I could not catch my breath. I felt like I was on the verge of passing out.. And I was afraid that if I passed out, I would never wake up again.

Once I was on the table at the ER, they struggled to stabilize my heart. One of the nurses asked if she could cut my shirt off and I said no. I didn’t want the situation to have to be any more dramatic than it already was.

 But for several hours they struggled to stabilize me. At one point, one of the doctors told me that they may have to shock my heart to try to get it back into a regular beat. It wasn’t going to be the full cinematic gel-on-the-paddles someone yelling “clear!” scenario… But she said it would be dangerous. This was a shocking moment of clarity. Was I ready to go? Did I have any doubts or thoughts of regret? No.

 Luckily, they did not have to shock me, but they did have to give me a lot of medicine to get my blood pressure up.

There were several points in this four hour period where I thought might die. I was never resigned to the fact, and I was never right on the brink of death. But it was terrifying.

Here is what I know… Christ has given me the grace and the peace to know, even in the face of death, that his promises are true, our future is secure, and if we invest our all in him, his peace will reach us even in our darkest of moments


“…if we invest our all in him, his peace WILL reach us even in our darkest of moments”

I say “if we invest our all in him” as if it were a simple choice to perform. This is obviously not the case. And it has not always come easily for me. There have been plenty of times when I have invested myself in selfish and ultimately destructive ways. If you know me and Shelly and our story at all, you know that we had a three month old daughter die in 2005. I broke my neck in 2007 and have been in a wheelchair ever since. After these events (and many other times in my life) I have dealt with pain and suffering in unhealthy and unbiblical ways.

But as I have chosen Him more, He has revealed himself more to me. I have begun to see 2 Corinthians 4 as a reality, not just an ideal.


“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  – 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I was raised in a strong Christian home. I had two parents who were biblical examples of integrity, faithfulness, and love. But I also grew up with a very immature view of pain and suffering and therefore…God. In my entire extended family there was no cancer, heart disease, divorce, or much suffering at all. Even though it’s not directly what I was taught, I thought that if you loved and served God, bad things would not happen to you.  This made it very difficult when I got to be a little older and started experiencing suffering to have a biblical understanding of it.

 But God has let me see just a fingernail sized sliver of his light, and he has been relentless in his pursuit of me. Just enough that I know where to look in times of darkness. This following song COULD NOT ENCAPSULATE THIS ANY BETTER. Don’t leave this post without listening to at least the first verse.

 Thank you God for your relentless pursuit of me.


Posted on September 25, 2015
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Warrior (a not-so-subtle allegory)

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With a flash of light and a clash of metal the Warrior flung himself into battle. Every enemy on the entire field of battle was his target. He recklessly threw himself around the desolate grasslands. He was fighting for the glory of the king.

He was a prideful warrior, though. At times he would fight for riches and for his own glory.  But in his best of moments, his heart was set on the name and the renown of his king. 

Suddenly, there was a devastating blow to his back. He careened forward, dirt grinding into his face mask. Frantically spinning around, he found himself cornered by the darkness. It drew closer. His time had come. 

But as he closed his eyes, gritted his teeth, and braced himself for the final blow, there was sudden silence. He opened his eyes to find that a beautiful warrior with flowing blonde hair had saved him.

Several days they sat and visited while they cooked over a campfire and swam in a nearby stream. As they began to learn each other’s heart, they covenanted to set out together on a quest for their king. His glory was there aim, no matter the fury of the darkness or the depths of the raging floodwaters.

Several days into their journey, they were walking through a barren wasteland. They began to hear a shuffling sound behind a nearby bush. As the Woman Warrior drew her sword to kill whatever evil stood behind it, a small brown bear came out licking honey off of it’s paw. 

“Hello. I didn’t see you there. What are you doing?”

“The question is what are you doing little Bear. How did you get so far from civilization… out here in this desolation?”

"Uhhh… I guess I don’t know. I was looking for some honey and then… Do you mind if I come with you?”

The Warriors laughed as they continued on their quest, small Bear in tow..

One day, as they were wandering through a woodland, they saw two red eyes peering out from the shadows. Out slinked a small leopard.

“I’m going to get you. Prepare yourself.”

The Leopard attacked the Warrior. She scratched at his leg armor as hard as she could. It was immediately clear that she could do no damage. But she didn’t care. The Warriors asked if she wanted to join their troop.

“I was doing fine on my own, but since you asked…”

After several days, a beautiful baby gazelle began to follow them. They marveled at her beauty. Never saying a word, she just quietly trod behind them.

Each night, after their day’s journey was complete, they would warm themselves by a small campfire, preparing food, enjoying the warmth, and telling stories. But as the fire died and the small followers were asleep, the darkness would creep further in. The warriors had to be extra vigilant.

Days turned into weeks and into months. Our little group on the quest began to feel like a family. There were bitter cold winds out of the mountains. There were dry warm breezes out of the grasslands. There were week long rainstorms that flooded all the creek beds and gullies. There was lightning, there were even occasional earthquakes. But the Warriors, Bear, Leopard, and Gazelle trod on.

One dreary morning the Warriors woke up and Gazelle was gone. There were screams and scrambling as the group frantically tried to find her. There was a trail in the long grass where one could see she had been dragged away. But there were no other clues as to where she could be. They searched for days, but eventually, with a deep sense of loss, they continued on.

Several days later, a piercing screech shattered the morning sky. As the travelers peered up into the bright morning sun, the silhouette of a small eagle could be made out. It flipped and flailed and barrel rolled its way to a perch on nearby dead tree.

“Hello! You guys look like fun, mind if I tag along?!”

And with that, Eagle with his boisterous and endearing way, was an inseparable part of their group.

They fought rain. They fought snow. They fought sun and heat.

As they were making their way up a steep and treacherous mountain pass, a large boulder broke loose up above. It tumbled down, smashing into the path with the ferocity of a giant’s sledgehammer. It sent the Warrior careening off the ledge, armor clattering off the rocks. The Woman Warrior leapt after him. She gracefully skipped from rock to rock almost able to catch up.

But she could not. He impacted the rocks below with a thunderous crunch. She arrived seconds later. His armor was bent and bloodied. She stayed by his side for a moment, long enough to realize his leg was badly broken. She pointed down the path said,“ you have to meet up with us… just down that way.” And she was off, back up the cliff to rejoin the others.

He laid there for what felt like days. He tried to stand and toppled back down. How could this have happened? He was on a quest serving the King. Why had his partner left him so suddenly? 

Eventually he gathered enough strength to stand up. He tested his leg… and as he did, he immediately fell back over. He tested it over and over. And eventually he was able to stand on his good leg drag his bad one behind. 

As he made his way down this lower path, his mind raced. Would he be able to protect his friends? Why hadn’t the Woman Warrior even stayed with him for a moment after his accident? They needed each other, and there had been times that she had completely leaned on him. Who else could support him?

What would she think, of how he had been brought so low?? What would all his friends from his home town think? He was no longer the dashing young agile warrior with the splendid armor that he once was.

While consumed in his thoughts, he accidentally made his way into a bog. It was only a couple inches deep, so he wasn’t alarmed and he kept on plodding ahead. But the soupy mess got deeper and deeper and soon… he couldn’t make his way forward or back. For a moment, he was filled with fright. He had heard about how dangerous these bogs could be. But surprisingly, it seemed to take some of the weight off on his shattered leg. Without thinking, he laid on his back, closed his eyes, and tried to forget his tragic condition. He didn’t notice (or didn’t care) about the sludge seeping in between the joints of his armor. The putrid sulfur smell almost seemed to put him into a trance. Like a siren’s call, the bog had drawn him in.

The shock of the rockslide on the upper path was still sharp in the travelers minds. The sight of the rocks smashing… the Warrior careening off the edge and the terrible crunching sound of his armor impacting the ground below was seared in their memories. Without his strong presence at night they all felt vulnerable. Without his trailblazing and words of encouragement their progress was slower. Without his stories and joking at night around the campfire their days seemed darker. But what could they do? They had no choice but to plod on. The woman felt ready to go under, but she would not give up on those most dependent on her. 

“Just a few days more to the pass where the paths rejoin. We can make it until then guys!” Onward they marched as the jagged mountain terrain slowly gave way to hillier surroundings. They struggled on.

Finally, they found their way into a large opening. Massive house sized boulders littered the area. They quickly scoured the site, looking for any sign of the Warrior. After an afternoon’s worth of looking, it was clear that he was not there and he had never been there. They decided to camp out and wait for him. It had to be any day, right? A couple at most.

The Woman Warrior made his absence into a minor inconvenience. A bump in the road. But inwardly she was dumbstruck. Where could he be? He had plenty of time to have gotten there, even with a broken leg, he could’ve drug it behind him and hobbled there.

The lower path was much shorter and much less hilly. She decided that she would wait one day, then backtrack for him.

The next day dragged on forever. At every sound the group would spin around and see if it was him coming. He never came. That night at their little campfire, she told the little ones about her plan and about what they might see the next day.

After they woke up and had a small bite to eat, they made their way back up the lower trail. After half a days easy journey, they came across a horrible smell. As they rounded a corner, a large, yellow green cesspool came into view. And right in the middle they saw a creature covered in the yellow-green goo. After a few more steps they realized it was their Warrior! 

Eagle immediately flew off to help drag him to the edge. The Woman began to wade in after him. To their surprise, the Warrior would not let Eagle help him to the edge. Eagle swooped down again to grab him by the breast plate and to all of their shock… SWAT!!! The Warrior swatted at Eagle, sending him careening off into the bushes.

As she reached him in the middle of the bog, he began yelling at her, “Why did you come back for me?! I was going to meet you there in a day or two!”

“What do you mean!? It’s been two weeks since your fall!”

“You’ve lost it! It wasn’t nearly that long. It was one night at the most," he said as he began struggling to his feet, and then falling again. He had forgotten about his broken leg in his time there.

"Maybe you should just leave me,” he murmured under his breath.

“I don’t know what you’ve been doing here, but you’re a mess, and we need you. Get up! I will help you.”

The two began hobbling down the path, back towards the clearing from where she had come. 

“Eagle!” shouted the Warrior, in a powerful yet compassionate tone, “Come here. How are you? I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

“I’m fine! I just lost one feather in the bushes! It was a lousy feather anyway! Why wouldn’t you let me help yoUUUU!?”

The Warrior lowered his gaze to the path below. “I don’t know how time went so quickly,” he mumbled under his breath. “I should’ve hurried back and met up with you guys.”

“It’s OK! Let’s get on with it!” bellowed Eagle.

Over time, the Warrior’s leg healed, and the Woman Warrior didn’t have to help prop him up. He became strong in a fight again and eventually she learned to lean her weight against him in her times of need.

They pressed on, battling not for their glory, but for the glory of another.

Our obvious allegory could end here, but it does not. ———–

Over time, our heroine grew increasingly weary of the battle. She desperately loved her little group of travelers on their quest… but she longed for simpler times. She missed Gazelle and she continually wondered if he had done something wrong to lose her. She would go through long periods of quiet and withdrawal… a long dark night of the soul. Bear, Leopard, and Eagle would not notice. But Warrior, her partner on request, would have to carry her.

Often, other people that they would come across on their journey would not understand the weight that she seemed to take along with her. At one point, our travelers even came across the Woman Warrior’s family. They spent several nights feasting and visiting around the fire. They brought hope and lightness to a sometimes dreary mission, but as they parted ways, a sadness came over the Woman Warrior. They did not seem to understand the gravity of her quest. She felt alone and not understood. The Warrior would carry her on. He was driven by a clarity of their goals and a fear of what would become of them if he became consumed with his own desires again.

Then, suddenly, our band of travelers would be in a fight against the Darkness and the Woman Warrior would be side-by-side with her partner, slashing and thrusting her sword adeptly and with purpose…. vanquishing foes. She had a great skill and a great calling… But she was wounded… just as much as he was. They were perfectly matched.

This was their fight. This was their journey. This was their quest